I've been there. Depression is a monster. I know medication is not the cure for everything, but when I was in a place like that and I got on an effective medication, I was like, "wow, it wasn't me. All that time beating myself up and it really wasn't me after all." I don't know if that makes sense or not, but depression can just make us feel miserable about ourselves, and we beat ourselves up, seeing ourselves through the eyes of depression.

Please start by finding an antidepressant that will allow you to see your self worth and all you are truly capable of.