Hi Sincity - your post was so sincere and open that it brought tears to my eyes. I'm sorry that you're struggling. It's understandable WHY you are, yet probably very few people can truly understand HOW you are feeling.

I agree with Bebop that continuing a sexual relationship with your friends will very likely put a strain on your marriage, even if your wife is ok with it now. If she already worries about you not finding her sexually attractive, continuing with your friends will reinforce her fears. It is very, very important for a wife in a loving relationship to feel attractive to her husband - it goes beyond all logic and intellectual reasoning - it's almost an innate emotional need.

I know how on top of the world you must have been to have felt attractive to your friends, but my advice to you would be to hold onto that memory and keep it there. Continue confidently in your marriage knowing that you are an attractive man. But keep it as a fond memory and a beautiful fantasy and don't act on it again. If you're confused now, you'll be even more so later and you stand to bring your wife and son down with you.

Sending you my support
LMo