I don't necessarily think idealizing my T is totally a bad thing. To some degree I accept that that's just where I am right now. Plus I am incredibly grateful that she's well-trained, caring, and committed to helping me in the ways that I need her, for however long it takes. It would be impossible for me to not have strong positive feelings for anybody who had that place in my life.

The thing that's difficult about it sometimes, though, is that my idealization of her makes it harder for me to accept that she's human, will make mistakes, have lapses in judgment, do things I don't agree with, etc. I think the challenge is for me to be able to integrate all the good things about her with all the little things I don't like. If I didn't think so highly of her, this would be less challenging. But it seems like a more nuanced way of viewing relationships, and I want to get better at doing it.