I've written quite a few emails to T to which he has not responded. He told me that he "might" respond. The past few emails that I sent, I expressed quite a bit of anger and frustration over how the therapeutical relationship seemed so one-sided.
This morning, to my surprise, I received an email from him! I now feel so calm, so content, so still. I know it won't last but am cherishing every moment of it now.

Here are a few excerpts:
"I've been hesitant to write . . . this can't be an alternative forum for doing treatment . . .there are no easy answers that I can bestow through the brilliance of my narrative.
In regards to your present struggle, I'd have you recognize that this may prove the most essential part of the work you have to do -- to tolerate, explore, and ultimately accept that tension between becoming absolutely attached and rejecting/fleeing. Realize that there is nothing remarkable going on around you at this moment, so the suffering you're feeling is a pure reflection of that dynamic. Breathe, be still, and realize that there really is nothing you have to do right now to be ok."

He has so much power over me now. I went from being heartbroken
to feeling totally safe just because he communicated with me. I adore this guy.
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