I realized I didn't make it completely clear. Over the course of 9 years, at different points I ended up taking SSRIs at different dose, but I also took non-SSRI meds at other times during those years. So my 9 years were a mix of trying SSRIs and non-SSRIs. Nothing helped and I attribute it to the time I spent on SSRIs. But it also might be that meds other than SSRIs were also making me worse.

I hope you're able to find what's right for you though!!!