Quote:
Originally Posted by Ididitmyway
I think, there is nothing wrong with idealizing a therapist or other mentor-like figure like a teacher, trainer, priest etc IF it is helping you and not distracting you from your life.
I idealized some people who were in mentorship positions in my life and it was helpful to keep a positive image of them in my mind as role models I never had as a child but needed badly.
I think, the cases that are mostly discussed here, in which idealizing becomes destructive, are those when the client keeps obsessing about the therapist to the degree that this obsession starts affecting the quality of their life. I've been through this, as many others on this board have, and this is something I don't want to ever experience again. That kind of idealization is an antidote to the very idea and the essence of therapy because there is nothing therapeutic about it. From what I know from my own experience and from listening to others, the vast majority of cases in which idealizing the therapist becomes destructive are those that include intense erotic transference.
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Thank you for sharing your experiences and feedback (to all of you!)
It's a relief, really, to consider there is nothing wrong with idealizing T and PrevT if it's helpful for me. I'll need to recheck with T because I thought she was saying it would be better for me if I didn't idealize them so much (and I was doing something wrong.)
Something that is confusing to me- is (usually) the nature of the therapeutic relationship is the therapist does not (usually) over-disclose to the client. But then I seem to be hearing T say she sees us as equals..and it would be better if I see T and PrevT more realistically. I don't know how this is possible.
In the end, I feel the way I feel about them and I don't see that changing. Maybe that's ok.