I see both sides. She's living in his home, and should be trying to help out with chores at home before he gets home. BUT, remember she has an MI, and that can make it hard to motivate and get things done around the house. I had a lucky day yesterday that I was able to get my kitchen mostly clean, but today, nothing....in bed the whole day...

When I go to visit my mom, I try to step in and help cook or do dishes after dinner, so she doesn't have to, and one day I was able to straighten up the dining room and living room.

And then they paid my rent for me so I wouldn't get evicted. I felt hugely ashamed that they paid for me the whole time I was visiting, but I know in the past I have treated them to dinners and breakfasts, and cooked for them when I've felt better, so they do understand my MI and how it disables or affects me, however you want to look at it.

I think you could make more of an effort to make sure all your stuff is put away before he comes home; just to help alleviate his stress...not saying walk on eggshells, just have your chores done before he gets home so he sees you contributing on your own and being responsible.

I think I had said in a previous post that it's got to be hard on him to deal with some of the curves life has thrown him. Not that excuses violent behavior, but understanding each other is the key to being able to live together and have a healthy relationship.

I think it's not difficult to figure out if dishes are clean in a dishwasher or not. Or text your dad and ask. Or just go ahead and re-run it so you're sure, and then you can empty it. And he's at work then empiring all day, that certainly enough time to figure out where everything goes.

Again, not excusing the violence, just saying that you could help him alleviate some stress by stepping up a bit.

Seesaw