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Originally Posted by Apollite
I'm on a few other mental health forums and although they are pleasant and friendly places, I haven't managed to connect with anyone. Although I'm not being ignored, I don't think anybody truly likes me, it just seems like they tolerate me.
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Even amongst "regular" folks, true connection seems rare -- at least from what I can tell on what feels like the other side of the glass.
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There are lots of cliques and people will often engage in banter that excludes others, but at the same time, I really don't think that it's meant in a bad way. Those people have managed to develop a rapport with one another which means they'll be more inclined to talk amongst themselves.
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I agree.
I like to think many people are often having just as much difficulty striking up a conversation with someone less known as those of us trying to join in. That's probably even more so with some of the difficult topics and hurting people here. So they often respond more readily to those they have already managed to have conversations with.
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Feeling unwanted is incredibly difficult to deal with, especially if we don't know what's "wrong" with us, if anything.
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Oh yes, the not knowing is the worst part. If we knew what, we could try and do something about the specifics.
I mean, all the advice out there is about the basics. I can do the basics in real life (on a good day). People usually say to me "Nice to meet you.", "I enjoyed chatting with you." and that's it. There is no advice beyond the basics because everyone is different. It's just assumed that eventually you'll meet someone you connect with and it will happen. Except it doesn't. And so you keep wondering: what's wrong? And what can I do about it?
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Originally Posted by Shazerac
Feeling unwanted and an outsider and being depressed always me think about the chicken and the egg conundrum. Am I feeling unwanted because I'm depressed? Or am I feeling depressed because I'm unwanted. I don't know the answer.
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I think those two feed into each other and perpetuate the problem. In my case it all started a long time ago with shyness, social anxiety and low self-esteem.