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GoingInside
Junior Member
 
Member Since May 2015
Location: Brazil
Posts: 20
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Default Sep 18, 2017 at 12:07 AM
 
I really don't know. I just started seeing this fem T few weeks ago and so far I see her more like a sister figure in a way...she's not that older and for a long time I was an only child(few years ago I discovered I have 3 (half)brothers and just now we're starting to connect and so I'm the big sis now, 1 is a teen and the other 2 are still kids).
My T is quite positive, like that person that says "you go, girl", really fun, always makes me laugh one way or another, kinda relieving the tension or taking the seriousness over some themes that in fact, when I have a clear mind I see there's nothing serious about while still not dismissing my feelings and being kind when I'm the one putting myself down.
The first time I met her she was very direct saying that she wouldn't tell me what to do and that she would be some sort of lantern to light the way a little but that ultimately I'd be the one walking the path to whichever way I'd rather to.
The only moments I think of her is when I considering what I would like to share or bring up in therapy. I don't know if this will change but so far that's all.

My former pdoc, while I wouldn't think about him at all in the past, I'd always hold him as a savior or hero figure because of him managing to get my meds right(if a conversation brings up my old struggles) and ending the (mania)cycle. Over time I'd see him only after a couple of months to get my prescriptions but I never cared or anything, in a way I was always afraid of not being good enough and getting meds altered(but this actually never happened). So there was this sense of authority figure and also gratitude, but I never expressed that. I never said "thank you for helping me out" or even "good job". But then again I have a hard time saying what I mean to say. Or at least used to. With this new T I speak a lot, though I realized I speak with a contained tone of voice, hesitating.

I think I have transferred more feelings to other people like relatives, friends and sometimes teachers/professors. Many times I'd enjoy talking with older men as mentor figures because of the absence of my father. It just feels comfortable.
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