Quote:
Originally Posted by Elio
A little off topic, I wanted to share what has been going on for me: I have to say that my obsessing and needs are changing around my transference. It used to be that if I did any emailing between session, waiting for a reply was extremely distressing. At times, just the time between sessions was painful.
Now, I still frequently check for replies, I am not in distress while waiting and the time waiting can be much longer with no distress. I still cannot handle a missed session (planned or unplanned) and I miss her between sessions; the time is not painful. If a session needs to be moved so that I still see her 2x week, I am able to adjust to the change and do not find the "normal time" a distraction.
The maternal transference is still intact. There are times where she is needed/wanted as mommy. Right now, I am hoping that she can be mommy for some of tomorrow's session. Tomorrow may come and I might not have that want/need. I know if tomorrow comes and I still want her to be that for me, she will and maybe that is why the feelings in the transference is changing for me.
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Yes, some people may not experience this obsession as a problem. Looks like you are one of them. To me what you are describing sounds awful. I hate to obsess about anyone in this way and I feel miserable when this happens (which doesn't anymore thank God). If I were you I would see this situation as humiliating and disempowering, but I am not you and what would make me suffer apparently doesn't make people like you suffer. So, I guess, for you this kind of obsession is okay then. But most stories I've heard were from people who suffered from the obsession about their therapist and wished they hadn't had it.
By the way, I am in no way think that there is something wrong with you or with me. I really believe that some of our traumatic experiences would not have had such traumatic effect on other people for thousands of reasons that have a lot to do with how differently we all see life, ourselves, relationships etc.
But I also believe that many people wouldn't have even stepped into the situation that I and many others had stepped into because they weren't an "vibrational match" to it. Right now, I am not a match to those types of situation as well. It is absolutely impossible for me now to get exploited by the same type of male "father" surrogate figure that exploited me before because by this time I have resolved my "father issue" and I have no need to have yet another imaginary "father-lover" in my life on whom my happiness would depend. So, I imagine that other people who didn't have my issue would've walked out of the situation in which I got stuck because there would've been nothing for them to try to resolve there.