Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
It sounds like you're in the middle of a lot of turmoil that doesn't originate from you. Your father is an unhappy man, and he's taking that out on you. He's not exuding an air of real authority. He's just acting like a d!¢. Unfortunately, you kind of have to be the adult in the room. Otherwise, he is baiting you into becoming oppositional, which he can use as an excuse to get nastier. He has abandoned being the true leader that a father should be. He's miserable about his job and his marriage, so he lashes out at you. It's pathetic. He wants to feel powerful.
The fact that he has a history of assault and battery on you is disturbing. Right now you're dependent on him. (It's his house . . . well his and your mother's.) Your mother should not be okay with him being violent toward you. You don't really have the option of just leaving . . . at least not to go into better circumstances. But you might want to start planning for eventually exiting this home situation. Any chance of you going away to school?
He's a foolish man. Fathers get old. They can expect love back from their sons and daughters commensurate with what they put out. I see loneliness in your dad's future.
|
As far as I understood it from earlier posts, the physically aggressive behaviour occurred when she was a child. She's now 30.
I've had a lot of sympathy for some of these issues, having struggled with difficult family circumstances, and yet..... When I left home to go to university age 18, I came back after graduating to study for a postgraduate degree more locally, while living at home. And then on and off afterwards, while working. I didn't do my fair share of chores or make a big contribution to housekeeping finances, but I always worked full time, had (paid for and ran) my own car, kept my own room and most of my meals and did my best to take my parents out for day trips, where I organised everything and paid. My father continued to be challenging until he died, many years later. I was on and off various meds, didn't think therapy was for me and did my best to develop a career and be as self sufficient as I knew how. The point is, I tried to contribute. But at the end of the day, it was my parents' house. If they were struggling financially, I felt it was my responsibility to pay for something, particularly as they were retired. And as they got older, it was my job to do more.
No one is trying to excuse bad behaviour but this is about more than that. This is about Artchic's struggle to leave home. And all the stuff that goes underneath that. It's a difficult process to go through.