It has been nearly 2 weeks since I saw T. For a while I pretended the break didn't exist. When that fantasy faded, I called and we had a phone appointment last week.

OK. I am feeling better as the holidays wane. BUT I am panicking about our reunion on Thursday. It feels like I haven't seen him in a month. I'm nervous. The last time I saw him was an awful session. Can I just pretend it didn't happen? Yes, of course I can. And-- oh--I'll have to deal with the letter I mailed last week, and the message I left on Saturday morning.

OMG...I have missed him so much it really hurts. So what is the conflict? The conflict lies in the fact that I have been able to (just today) be without him by my side. I had fun this past weekend--YES I HAD FUN--and I don't want him to know because I'm afraid that means I don't need him anymore.

OK. Deep breath. It's ok. (talking to self)