I am so sorry to hear this. I know exactly what this feels like. It's an insanely desperate feeling that unfortunately all owners have to feel at some point. All I can say is what I believe -- that we'll see them again one day when we go too. Good luck with everything, and I'm sending hugs your way.

I felt the same way when I lost my baby Mabel back in 2016. She had been with me since kindergarten, almost fifteen whole years. When my mom told me she had passed, I literally screamed. I was sobbing uncontrollably, unable to understand what had just been told to me. I cried for a long time, too. I cried for months. But six months went by, and that pain turned to an ache -- I still missed her, but found that I was comforted by the thought that I had ever been blessed with her in the first place. The pain turned into an ache, into a tired thankfulness that has not faded. I constantly remember her sweet spirit and am again reminded that I'll see her again. Hang in there.