I've been with my current psych nurse for nearly three years. Today she told me she is likely leaving the practice within the next three months. I've complained about her on here before; that she doesn't really have any ideas, that she doesn't take my depression seriously, and that she's always running like an hour behind so I'm left waiting forever. But...she really helped me out during the summer. She got me in for extra appointments a few times so that things didn't get out of control and I was able to avoid IP. I'm stable now, at least have been for a weekish, so I'm not worried about that. I just....it's hard moving on to a new pdoc.

I've looked before and there aren't a lot that take my insurance. Most are agencies that make you get your meds and therapy in the same place. I don't want to give up my therapist, she's amazing. I love her. But it's hard finding an independent pdoc around here that takes insurance. There are a few who only accept out of pocket payments which I could afford, but not if I end up losing my job again at the end of the year. And if I'm in a crisis and have to see him/her every couple of weeks, at $150 a pop that would get expensive.

I also don't want to start over with someone new AGAIN. like seriously, repeating my lengthy history is a bummer. It's all foggy now thanks to the ECT. I know approximate dates. I know I've been hospitalized 20 times total, if you count teenager hospitalizations. I don't want to do another psych evaluation. What if a new pdoc takes me off of my beloved emsam? I couldn't handle that. I don't want my meds messed with. It took three months to stabilize after getting off invega.

Damn my practice for not paying anyone well enough or whatever the **** is going on there. Practitioners leave pretty frequently so I know it must not be a good place to work. I wish my nurse would stay. But I better start looking now because I know it could take a long time to get in with someone else.