So today I started my fifth week at iop. All I felt in morning was sluggishness and tired. Got to work and the coworker who f up my life was back from her leave. At first it didn't bother me. I left work for iop and had a good session about rebuilding structure and routine and some dbt skill (distress tolerance).

So I came back at two. She was talking about how good her cake was Apparently my squadthrew her a welcome back party during my absence. It made me feel like crap that they celebrate her and also went around my back or didn't warn me or anything. Then everything else started falling downhill. I couldn't concentrate, could barely stay awake and my emotional physical pain came back. I felt betrayed, defeated, unwanted, worthless and a failure.

I ended the day with a panic attack and this vistaril isn't doing shkt. I feel so alone. So broken.