I found out that my step father passed away last week. I have been out of town all weekend for his funeral service. I stayed the night with relatives out of town since it is over 3 hours away.

I'm struggling to cope. Everything just feels so overwhelming for me now. I can't focus on my studies and I had to take off work this week because I can't function. I'm falling behind in everything and I got an F on my last test in school because I am so overwhelmed that I can't focus on anything.

I didn't think I would be so hurt over him passing but it hurts because he actually cared about me. He put my mother and myself before him, despite the fact that my mother manipulated him and turned him against me when I was younger. I didn't get close to him until after she passed away because of that. He helped me and supported me when I had a lot of behavioral problems due to my MI. He worked himself to death because he would work 60-70 hours a week to give my mother anything she wanted and then after she passed, he would work to escape how hurt and lonely he was.

Now that he's gone, I have hardly any family left. I feel so alone in this world. I can't take the pain anymore. I've been crying myself to sleep every night this weekend and today I have been doing nothing but playing my game in a desperate bid to escape the pain.

I can't take it anymore. I want out of this dark and lonely world.