I believe that it becomes enabling when you are doing something to help the person hide or perpetuate unhealthy behaviors. the analogy of the card giving would be an example of enabling in my opinion. Now, if you did buy them cards and signed them from you, that is a different story. Men have long been notorious for not doing such things as sending cards and gift buying...women should not perpuate this behavior by doing it for them. The issues get much larger, I know...not just card buying. Just some thoughts....