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I think what worries me the most is the fact that your kids are college aged....where tons and tons of drinking and other illicit drug activity happens, and your husband is verifying that it's ok to be falling down drunk.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Yeah, you have a VERY good point sabby. I sure don't want them to get that message.

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I think a serious sit down with your kids explaining to them that what they see in their father is not acceptable behavior and that you will deal with the situation as you see fit is in order. No making excuses for his behavior....no excuses for them if they choose to behave in the same situation. It's a loving thing to do for them.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> this is what I'm so afraid of..... his background is such that his parents worship the land he walks on...... it's so difficult for him to actually "hear" that he has a flaw. somehow, the confronting usually gets all turned around and then- mysteriously I become the bad one. I'm trying so hard, I limit myself to one glass of wine a night now, hoping he'd follow....... I just recently started back in therapy and am hoping I'll get some help there too.

Just have so so much other stuff to deal with....... ugh.....

Thank you for your reply sabby, it's helpful.