I thought it was time to post about this. I cant go into details because of rules and all but I see I have some people worried about me..

situation ... I got upset over a thread, which is out of character for me, I started lashing out, which again was out of character for me. Normally when I see threads that trigger me, I ignore it, dont bother with replying to the thread or even continue reading it. I walk away and never read it again and sometimes if needed I will take a break and sometimes i use my ignore list.

Well i didnt see I needed to walk away and take a break, The result the moderators did their job of helping me take that break (not saying anything no one knows, when this happens a members profile page receives a suspension tag)

While I was away on my break I did some things. First I contacted my treatment providers, why because this was so out of character for me. turned out a good thing to do, some changes were made.

while I was away I also thought about how much I care for folks here on the dissociative boards and give my all, sometimes to the point of revealing too much of my healing path, too fast. Things that I have experienced that others here may not be ready to deal with. I have an education that gives me what I need to understand the hows and whats of my healing path, that I tend to share too much of before people are ready for it. I have never shared anything that anyone could not find by google, even supplied the links. but many just are not ready to hear about things that I have already gone through and the things that I know about because I went through it.

Add this to the fact that English is not my native language. I was raised in a small backwoods town and on reservations for native Americans, My primary languages are Seneca and Mohawk, with a bit of English thrown in. I use google translators (and off the computer real person translators when a great deal of English is needed) Translators use formal, professionally correct, politically correct translations.

the result is my long elaborated postings come out with a formal, professionally correct, politically correct wording and tone.

I am making changes here too. I am sorry if this change leaves those who look forwards to this and welcome my elaborations, but my replies are not going to be long elaborated replies anymore.

I am sorry if I scared you all into thinking something is wrong with me, that I am being too quiet, not giving enough information, so something must be wrong with me. Worry not, I am doing fantastic.

some may also feel why am i here since I dont ask for help for myself... well I do, just not on the boards where it can cause problems for those not ready for the things i go through as an integrated person. I usually ask those that I know who are going through what I am.

there are many different ways here to get support and ask for what a person needs... on the boards, through chat, through pm, we can even "ask a therapist" and wait and see if our question gets picked for the "ask a therapist" page, there is also emailing where those that want to can share emails or select the email option in their profiles if they dont want to give out their email addresses.

Anyway I do ask others for help when I need it. just not so publicly where my problems can cause problems for others..

I hope this answers all those lingering questions of what happened and you can see that nothing is wrong, in fact everything is more than right with me.