If you are unhappy and he is abusing the children then it is best for you and them to get out. Of course you are going to feel apprehension in doing this. Change is hard but leaving is going to be better for you and your children. Children know when their parents are unhappy and it affects them. Also, you won't find someone new unless you are separated, you'll find someone who truly loves you when you are single. It's a scary thing to do when you've been married a long time but ultimately may also be the best thing you ever do. Either that, or you go for marriage counseling but it sounds like it's too late for that.