You know that old crap about the guy with the crappy shoes meeting the barefoot guy?

I haven’t had legs since 2006. I can’t walk or catch the bus. I’m only 5+ years out of an institution, finally buried the dead and I’m actually wheeling my chair outside to talk to people.

I never wrecked any vehicle. I received a speeding ticket at age 16 and that sorta covers my brushes with law enforcement.

Last night I AMA’ed my way out of hospital. My dicky heart crashes and I end up face-down on the floor looking like Frazier after Ali. Fell again entering cab. $40 to get home (bounced another ATM withdrawal).

Not tryin’ to minimize your concerns - flippin’ a truck? Flippin’ flip me out, that would.

No pity for me, friend; I’m right oaky-okay just now, gunslinger. But take a mo, hit that roll-up, and think about walkin’ and bussin’ sans legs. Think about bustin’ yer MIGHTY SWORD and your SCROTOM when ya hit the floor. Effing hurts. Guessin’ that it may hurt more than walkin’. Or bussin’.

Blah, blah, blah; sorry for your traumatic inconvenience.

Always yer friend, I remain &etc.,