"Who's gonna want me?" Been there....done that.... sounds like you're in a toxic relationship. You're abusing YOURSELF when you accept abuse and that's a big hit to your self esteem.

Also, buy accepting abuse, you are setting an example for you're children that abuse is acceptable. Do you want them to grow up with that legacy?

They could very well grow up get in a toxic relationship, and 20 years from now, they'll be on a forum in pain.

I don't know enough about you're marriage to know what to tell specifically what to do. Even if I did, it's still not my place to say.

Do YOU think your marriage is fixable? Have you tried marriage counseling? Even just for yourself? You can learn ways to respect yourself, and as a result begin to demand that you be treated with respect. Couples can fall into a pattern of abuser/ abused. It's a role play. You're both playing a part. Try changing the script.