Quote:
Originally Posted by rosed71
It feels like experiencing grief for a loved one, and I'm grieving loss of them every day and night. Constantly. Possibly the only people I ever knew love from and loved back with such purity.
And just like that we were afflicted with crises and our time was over, forever. Irreversible, unless you can erase their minds of all the bull your ex put in their heads and the judgmentalness that replaced unconditional love you were getting from them.
I still love my children unconditionally, but I am afraid of them. I actually fear them now and don't want to be alone with them without a neutral safe person in a safe place because of my life experience with the feeling that a person will try to hurt me and my life. They have become an enemy, yet I still sacrifice for them whenever I can.
I feel heartbroken from this.
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I have pretty much the same relationship with my daughter or rather...lack there of. I'm afraid of her. She's mentally ill, untreated, abuses drugs and is violent. She's also 3 inches taller than me and outweighs me by 50 pounds. She could could snap me in half like a twig. I won't be alone with her. She's 45 years old and still blames me for all her problems in life.
It's a loss I grieve everyday. I have no contact with her now, by my choice. If she can't be in my presence and harm me physically, she attempts to destroy me verbally over the phone. I refuse to put myself through that anymore!
I don't know what to say other than I feel your pain.
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Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day!
"Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged
Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 -
Seroquel 100
Celexa 20 mg
Xanax .5 mg prn
Modafanil 100 mg
