You've tried everything you can think of..... so now give yourself a break. Keep doing what you can to be in the right place at the right time and trust things to work out.
What is it they say about luck.... when opportunity meets preparedness. Be ready for anything and believe in everything.
Given the choice between worry and hope why would we let ourselves bother to worry. Be hopeful and excited all the possibilities. Now is the time to let your dreams out of the bag. Expand your thinking to expand your options.
See your assets not your deficits. Find the next job that matches your needs and wants. It's a new beginning.
I know some of what you are feeling. I left a very good job due to my illness and now consult part time to make ends meet. It's very unstable and it requires me to walk in faith a lot of the time. Whenever I wraping up a contract I'm resisting the temptation to worry about where the next contract will come from. I've learned not to worry but to trust the next step to be clear in time for me to take it. I still manage to pay my bills. I hope to get my finances in better shape again some day soon but for now I trust I'm going ot somehow always have the means to pay my bills.
Hope your next step is clear to you soon.
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