Another thing I've recognized that's making me depressed is that I haven't been able to move on from my teenage dream of what I wanted to do with my life not coming to pass.. My mum bullied me into doing what she wanted me to do, and I never got over that. I tried and tried to find my way back to my own path, but it kept slipping further and further away until I lost all hope..

This is going to sound so dramatic, but I was looking at my reflection in the mirror and saw that the light's gone from my eyes.. Years ago when I was still working towards my dream, but not really believing in it anymore because my life had changed and I was in a different place, I could still see this sparkle in my eye.. Now there's just a dull and tired gaze. I feel I've half killed myself trying to force this thing ithat was just never meant to be..

I want to move on now - I NEED to move on. So my life didn't go as I'd planned and wanted it to, but you know what - maybe it'll be even better! This thought gives me a lot of joy I'm still here, still living and breathing - almost anything's possible! I just have to go after it and leave the past behind.