I had just gotten over the intense hurt, anger and suffering after my last phone call with my mother.

I made the mistake of calling her again per her invitation last night.
I was ok until I woke up today.

I will just say that she is a very sick woman and not only do I not trust her,
she scares me to death.

I have reason to be scared of her.
I realize that those with somewhat normal mothers cannot imagine that a grown man could be scared of their mother.

My mother is very sick. She hurts me very badly without trying.

The worse part is the fear and lack of trust.

How sad for a person who does not have a mother and father they can count on.

So after my half dozen very intense hurt and angry emails I sent her, I ended with an email that said simply,

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I am glad you are still alive

"I am glad you are still alive because I still have hope that we can have an understanding and trust between us. <3 "

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I am not feeling bad for myself, so please nobody feel bad for me.

I cannot stay in the victim mode.

I get over the hurt, fear and anger and do my best to enter and stay in the...

Love Mode