Welcome to PC and to the Bipolar forum!
I hope you find the information and the support you may be seeking.
Please make yourself at home here. There are lots of great forums and plenty of compassionate members, too.
I am sorry you've felt so humiliated at times.
It makes sense to seek assistance during mania.
Are you involved with a therapist/pdoc and taking meds now?
Please be patient, I am sure other posters will come along throughout the next 24 hours or so.
Again, welcome.

WC