It sounds like you're critical and judgmental towards your brother who endured childhood abuse, because he isn't proactive with his healing in the same way that you are. I have three siblings. We were all emotionally and verbally abused. And, because we are different people, we each handle the effects of the abuse differently. Who are you, or who am I, to judge the way that your brother and my two siblings' make their life choices when it comes to the path they've chosen for themselves, and how they choose to heal from their abuse. Your post is very condescending and rude about your brother. I'm angry that you view him that way. How dare you. You have no idea what he's probably going through. Leave him alone.

Asking a question like the one you ask is futile. No one but the abused person knows why. Only your brother knows the answer to that question. Only my two siblings know the answer to that question. It is not your job nor my job, to answer that question for them, or interfere in their life and their healing process. At least for me, I am focused on myself and my own healing. My siblings are in their 40s, so they are old enough to make their own life choices. We don't interfere in each other's lives and I'm estranged from one of my siblings due to being physically abused by that person.

I understand that you want your brother to make different choices because you obviously disapprove of the ones he's made. But that's not your call. You don't get to tell your brother what to do. If you do that, you will lose his respect and his love. Leave him alone. Let him make his own life choices regardless of what you think. it's none of your business. Period.