Wanted to add some personal notes, but edit time on my last post has expired...

Mystry, you asked, "are you happy?...are you safe?" Sadly, the answer to both is "no." Thank you for pointing out that these are the important questions.

wounded1, I'm so glad to see that you and your husband had a real talk. I so hope that this works out for you, him, and your family together as a whole.

youOme, I love your compassion toward my boyfriend. This isn't easy for him, either, and I do recognize that. Thank you.

AlteredState01, I'm so sorry you experienced the same sort of loss of a parent... thank you for caring, and for being open enough to tell me that. I appreciate it enormously.

dragonphoto, I wish everyone had your telephone manners... and BTW, it wasn't a chick flick, it was the first (as far as I know) Muppet movie, "The Frog Prince." It rocks, for kids and adults both.

mckell13, thanks again, and, I hope my past mistakes will inform future behavior... I'm doing my best! I so get the thing about thinking, "Crap, this is what's being done to me," and then, "Oh, crap, I do this, too!" No one's ever going to be perfect, so I think the ideal is to find a balance... sadly, in this situation, that just wasn't possible.

And now that that's put to bed, I really just want to grieve my father for a while. He was a great guy.

Once again, thank you all, so much. I am astounded at how much caring and insight has been offered here. Having no idea what to expect, I sure didn't expect so much... I will re-read all of this in future, as I am finding it not only kind, but also instructive. Thanks to all, for all of that.