So leigheas,

Do you think you would be able to tell, or maybe just show this post, to your pdoc? You seem to have an idea that these beliefs are not true, even though they *feel* true.

When I started thinking like that, and even now when I begin to start think that way again, I need to tell my pdoc while I still have some sort of grasp that the beliefs are not reality. If I allow it to go too far, I'm no longer able to tell him. Even telling your pdoc, while explaining these beliefs, that they are included in the "threat" would help them to understand. There are things that can help, but it does require a level of trust or even just surrender to the doctors.

When my brain starts to do those things to me, I have to look at the people around me, and fact check. If what I think is happening were really happening, wouldn't others be reacting to it as well? If everyone were truly trying to sabotage certain things, wouldn't there be signs that I could see outside of my own thoughts to back up those beliefs?

I know how hard it is, to go against the beliefs, and tell someone irl what is going on inside your brain. I have been there, but now, with the right med combo, those times are few and far between. Now, it really only happens when I get extremely stressed, and once the stress dissipates, so do the thoughts.

Please consider talking to your doctor or your T.