It's commendable that you are concerned about her. You sound like a very kind person but imho in no circumstances should you be criticizing her off putting personality. My daughter tend to have loud voice and at times says some strange things but I can't imagine my husband (stepdad) ever saying anything. One of my stepkids is rather rough around the edges, but I don't believe it's my place to critisise her. Just my opinion of course.