Maybe I'll just never find a job I can work again. I didn't go to work today. I did call them and tell them I was sick...but it was only my third day. THIRD DAY.

The environment was just tiring me out. Like I said, on day 1, nothing was ready for me, so I just sat in my office like doing nothing, I didn't even have a mouse so it was hard to do the research I was doing and compile it because it's really hard just to use a track pad to do all that.

Then the second day, well, I finally got a mouse. It wasn't until the end of the day that I got email and access to the network server. And all day long the guy in the office next to me was talking (very loudly) about a local college football team...and because the office walls are so thin, I could hear everything. Then in the morning all these people kept coming in the office and exclaiming about my service dog...I think this morning I just lost it and couldn't put myself in that loud environment again.

What am I going to do? Plus to accept this job I can only let them pay me like $10 an hour.

I'm up for some other jobs that I have interviews for. I can make the same as working for them freelancing with these other gigs, I think. Plus I'm up for full-time work. But how am I going to make it through full-time work if I can't make it through 5 hours 4 days a week?!

I really don't know what to do. I can't survive on SSDI alone. So I either need to go back to work full-time or get some freelancing that is steady but not making me work for $10 an hour to make it work.

I really don't know what to do right now.

Seesaw