Soliaree, That was such a powerful email your T sent you!! Just thinking about the "push-pull" one experiences is enought to send me into a spin!

What is it??? why do we feel that way??? to me it feels like If I give into the "power" as I percieve the relationship to be on one level, then I have lost them, that they will never love me how I want to be loved, but if I hang onto the hate I feel toward T I feel mixed in with all the other emotions, then I am in control and eventually I will get her to feel sorry for me and do anything I want, but then as soon as I say that I realise that I wouldnt' want T to be like that, I actually want her to give firm boundaries and take care of herself as well as me. Oh dear how does one find the middle ground???