childofchaos831; first, thanks for taking the time out to talk to me. You make good points but I gotta ask, how do you know -- or even how should I figure out -- whether or not my brain is lying to me? I don't know how to tell, anymore. I thought I did once but now I just can't.

The biggest struggle I'm having is deciding whether or not I want to win this fight, or whatever's going on.