Just so you know, the term "feminist killjoy" is actually a reference to an academic book by Sara Ahmed which is a very smart social critique. I would be proud of her for being so well read and culturally and politically engaged. I'm a professor and I actually helped a smart high school student edit her college essay which she entitled "Feminist Killjoy." She got into four ivy leagues.

I wouldn't criticize her attitude and values just because you don't understand them. She is of s different generation and may be doing just fine. Parents don't always "get" their children or stepchildren. I can remember my dad thinking I ruined my life and career prospects when I got a tattoo. I still managed to get a PhD and was president of the graduate student assembly. Cultural values change over time.