My whole life, I've felt like I'm joined at the hip with my mom.. I've felt I can't be happy unless she is. I need to let go of this.. I'm killing myself not taking care of myself. If she wants to kill herself, that's her business, but I can't be part of it anymore! I WON'T be part of it anymore..

I just feel awful 'abandoning' her in a bad place.. She's in a very unhappy marriage with my dad and it seems she'll never leave.. It does feel like a relief that I don't need her to leave anymore (it would have helped me when I was a kid and had to live with them..) but I am sad she won't do it She could be so much happier..

I guess I just have to focus on what I can and want to change.. If I have to start taking care of myself to feel better, then that's what I have to do!

I'm sorry, mom, but I have to go.. What you do is your business. And it's NOT OK for you to get angry with me for doing what you need as well and could and should do yourself but won't..!!! You are YOUR responsibility, no one else's!