SheilaKathy's Boyfriend

We've been together for maybe 6 months or so. He started it by sitting next to me in church one Sunday. Then he started saying "I love you." Well, I didn't really think about it, before I said, "I love you." back. Then I got really scared. I was scared to get involved with anyone.

Then he started asking me to marry him! I hardly knew him, so I said no. I was surprised by this. He kept asking me again and again and I kept saying No again and again too.

I finally told him that I am mentally ill a few weeks ago, I forget if I told him exactly how. I explained that this is why I don't want to get married.

I did tell him awhile back, like maybe 2 months ago, that I had been raped. He wanted right away to know if it had been violent. I said I did not want to discuss it further. He did not ask further for any details, thankfully.

I did tell him that sex is not going to happen. He still wants to be together, even so.

I don't ever let him into my apartment. Period, Not gonna happen.

We meet at restaurants and sit by one another at church. That is about it. We hug. I don't like kissing, so I told him so. He accepted that.

I know this is not much of a relationship, but it is all I can handle.

He is almost 80, and I am in my mid-60s. I am a widow from a marriage of 23 years. My husband was a good man, but I don't want to be a widow again!

Also, my boyfriend drinks. Not a lot. He just has a drink "once in awhile." I really did not want to be involved with a drinker. My husband had been a drinker before I met him. He was sober for quite some time before we met. If I had known that he had been a drinker, I would have not wanted to be involved with him, but I was already in love by the time I found out....

Anyway, this is about my boyfriend.

Now I have a problem. A very close friend of mine has invited himself (by way of his wife, who is like a best friend to me) to come and stay with me next week. She talked me into this, without asking me if it was OK. She just sort of said that he was on his way and would call me when he gets here!

Now I am in a pickle of a situation. I don't know how this will affect my relationship with my boyfriend. I don't know if I should tell him, or try to just keep it a secret? I am all flustered!!!