Susan,

I can really see your T's point about diagnoses not really being very helpful. Mine is like that too, and I'm starting to find myself answering similarly when my clients ask "what do you think is wrong with me." But at the same time, I still obsess over what diagnoses I probably meet the criteria for, so I understand that side of it too.

I think that teejai was just describing what it's like for her, not trying to call you something objectionable. Over the internet, it's hard to know how to read either her tone or yours, so I can't tell for sure if you were upset about the reply or agreeing with it.

Anyway, if you feel that you have a personality disorder, whether it can be categorized or not, there are some implications for that and you certainly could talk to your T about them if you feel like you want to, or want to know more about how it might apply to you. Personality disorders are pervasive patterns that affect our relationships and communication with others. There is often a fine line between normal traits that a lot of people have, and personality disorders. Almost anybody reading a lot about personality disorders might come away from it relating to many symptoms and perhaps convinced that they might have one or more of the disorders.

Some therapists hesitate to tell clients that they have a personality disorder because it can seem insulting, given attitudes toward many of the personality disorders, and people who suffer with them. It can seem like a brush-off also, because a lot of therapists don't believe that personality disorders can be cured. They are certainly hard to treat. And even if two people meet criteria for the same personality disorder, those two people are likely to be very different.

So, if you do have a personality disorder, then you can expect either to spend a long time in therapy, or to accept that those traits may always be part of who you are and how you interact with others. Treatment involves taking a close look at patterns, traits, and behaviors that are probably an integral part of your identity, deciding which ones cause trouble for you, and which ones you can change or how you can adapt to keep those traits from hurting you or people in your life. So, if you have a personality disorder, be prepared to roll up your sleeves for some hard work that isn't always pleasant. It's worth it though.

My T is one of the few who believe that personality disorders (although she would be very reluctant to refer to them as such - she doesn't like the concept) can be successfully treated. But I've been working with her for more than 4 years now, and I have a long way still to go.

Best of luck to you on your journey!

Rap