Ok, I know this is probably really childish and stupid, so no judgement please.

Ever since basically one year ago when I took my first big solo overseas trip, I have become obsessed with travel and all things it has to offer. I have been looking forward to my next big overseas trip basically since I got back. I had it all planned out to do it in the summer but then because of work I couldn't. And I just recently learned that I won't be able to basically until it gets too cold in the places I was wanting to go. Which means it will probably have to wait until at least next spring. I've been super depressed since I found this out. A major aspect of traveling I want to enjoy is being able to meet and hang out with attractive interesting women from other parts of the world. And I have this overwhelming fear that once I get a little older I will no longer be able to attract women in those settings.

Well, even more recently I have found out that one of my friends appears to have gone on a spontaneous trip to a particular country which is lauded as being a place where local girls are very friendly and eager to date and hook up with foreigners. I don't want to go into detail but long story short it seems he meant to keep it a secret and in a sort of funny coincidence I came across something and found out. And for some reason, it caused me to become extremely jealous and start to panic. Something about seeing someone else live out my aspirations while I don't fills me with fear and anxiety. My friend has the looks, so he will definitely get the most out of these experiences. I get the impression that he is frantically trying to do this stuff because he also knows that when he gets older this might change. I mean, this guy took a few other trips pretty recently and this one seemed to have come out of nowhere as if it is something he decided he needed to do immediately. So basically it reinforces my fears to see somebody else(and someone younger than me to boot) having the same fears. Like maybe I can't afford to put it off any longer...

Just when I was starting to calm down about the fact that my plans are canceled, this hits me in the face.