Hi All,

I've been hanging around the depression forums as I am constantly depressed and was under the impression that my diagnosis was accurate (GAD/Social anxiety, ADHD, recurrent MDD -- diagnosed around 17). Things have always been bad when depression strikes but 3 years ago something changed (maybe my perception of mental illness? not sure) but I finally (after suffering alone for 13 years) started seeing a therapist who asked me to talk to my doctor for medication since I seem to have a chemical imbalance.

However, after multiple failed SSRI attempts my pdoc asked me to see a psychiatrist for med management which I started doing in early July. I was taken off SSRI's immediately and switched to Seroquel (low dose-immediate release). Seroquel isn't helping at all but my dosage is at 100mg so its not very high. I feel like it is a sugar pill, the only benefit I have is generally 2 hours after taking it in the evening I feel sleepy, but this also varies as I have pulled a few all nighters for work since I started the Seroquel two months ago. The severe hyperactive movements and feeling like I need to jump out of my skin that I had while on SSRIs has vanished though so that is a minor improvement but I attribute that to stopping SSRIs and not the Seroquel.

I mentioned this at my appointment yesterday which resulted in adding a pediatric dose of lithium er (300mg) along with the Seroquel. I also had to get blood work done too, I was told it was a baseline workup to follow during my lithium treatment.

I am scared to start the Lithium which I need to pick up today, I've never been the best at managing my fluid intake and always tend to run on the dryer side.. if that makes sense. Anyway, I spent 6 hours last night reading about lithium. My dose is real low which is nice, I've been titrated very slowly on everything I have tried so far to avoid side effects since my mental state is already all over the place.

Am I being overly paranoid about the fluid intake for the dosage I am on?
Also, will a pediatric dosage help with anything or am I at the mercy of waiting for a therapeutic dosage for relief :-( I am currently still depressed and have random bouts of rage feelings. I can contain the anger feelings by bottling it up but then I just end up feeling like I am screaming into emptiness inside my head. It's uncomfortable.

Also HI I am new here, as of yesterday I have been diagnosed with Bipolar II. I am still learning about it but things are starting to make sense with the behaviors I have displayed over the last decade. I am also currently mildly agoraphobic (I leave my house maybe once a month to get groceries and I cannot do it without someone with me). I also lost the ability to drive three years ago as a result of constant panic attacks anytime I am in a car. I mention these things because there is a good chance I might not respond to anyone that takes the time to read this. I have been trying harder to be responsive to others though but baby steps, even online my social anxiety flares up and makes it difficult to interact. If I don't respond today, I will respond at some point when I am feeling stronger.

Also, quick note.... I haven't searched the forums yet for bipolar debt but this is also an area of my life that I am failing miserably in. I had to let two things go into collections this month as I have 12+ CC maxed out (~$30k) with minimum payments that are quite large when added together. I contemplated bankruptcy last week until I realized I had to talk to someone about it -- I have a hard time talking in-person or on the phone. Not really sure if I have a question or a point to this. Are there online resources available to learn more about how to take control of bipolar debt? I am overwhelmed by it all and currently feel like there is no way out. This could be my depression talking.