I like you a lot Shaz. You mean well and have good intentions which to me is everything. You didn't hurt me, I just didn't agree and had to speak up for others like me.

Sometimes when I'm unwell, everything I see and hear in the world is a plot against me. I'm playing chess with people who mean me and my family great harm. I can't listen to the radio, books or watch TV because the messages they send cause me so much distress. I can't go to the store, talk to my mother, my friend or anyone because it enforces the delusions. When I worked, I went between feeling people were my friends who wanted what was best for me or they were all conspiring against me to ruin me and my family. I still went to work......I'm stronger than most. I've doubted that for far too long. Most people have no clue what it's like and I'm glad about that. I get "feelings" about people and their intentions......sometimes I'm wrong and sometimes right. I have to natigate things which most people just cannot fanthom. My mental illness could be much worse......or perhaps I've just been very lucky to have met the people I've met who have kept me off the streets. My mental illness is much more severe than I used to accept. I don't want this to be true......I want to be well........I used to just think I had ESP. Maybe I am an Empath......it's not scientific but I fit the criteria. Maybe I'm not as sick as I think and people have terrible intentions and I sense them? I don't know.

There is the saying "if I can do it, so can you" and it's just a big huge shaming fallacy. It's ableism and pretty insulting to those who really suffer. This is just how I see it. We each see the world through our own unique pair of specially tinted glasses......all made up of our intellect, personalities, sensitivies, experiences, etc. I can't tell someone else what their truth is, I can just listen to it and share my thoughts.

Thank you for your concern about me. I do suffer.....we all do here and I know it. If someone who doesn't suffer comes here it's rather silly I'd say. I have a lot of hopeful things happening in my life which might bring a ton of wellness to my entire family. I can't write about it because I'm afraid my blessings will be blocked, but things are happening and I'm hopeful. I hope you stay well Shaz.