I identify with this article very much. I have only within the last month started medical treatment/become diagnostically aware that my mood/symptoms describe BP type II.

I was always the 'whiz kid' when I was younger and through my late 30s or so I had an incredible capacity for knowledge, memory and recall (I'm going on 42 now). I've sadly come to realize that within the past few years I have more difficulty with executive functioning (never been great at that stuff anyway), reading comprehension/recall and following verbal instructions (sometimes written ones as well). Used to read voraciously, now I have no interest mood-wise and also because it has become harder/less relaxing to make progress and hold on to what I've read.

I attributed it for a while to daily marijuana use starting in my mid 30s and so did my wife, who has noticed some memory loss herself. But there hasn't been any real improvement since I stopped smoking 5 weeks ago. I read in the article that those who have managed this illness medically over the course of their lives have less degradation of these abilities. Those who haven't tend to have less favorable outlook both cognitively and mentally. My personal cognitive decline scares me because I most certainly have not managed my disease at all, in fact was unaware/refusing to consistency see a doctor about my physical and mental health for a couple decades.

When I mention it to my providers they are more apt to say this is ADHD, and I like the comfort of their conclusion. But I think I know deep down that while I might have had untreated ADHD (poor executive function, primarily) for years, the cognitive stuff is related to my mental illness because it is much more recent. This thought troubles me very much because I have three dependents and I don't have the option of seeking less-challenging employment.