I've ruined my family.

I've ruined a perfectly good Christmas with my family.

I'm a *****.
And an idiot.
And stupid.
And I talk too much.

And it will always be my fault.

I'm an idiot for thinking otherwise. I dont deserve anything good. My family is perfect. I am not. I should be happy with my family. I dont deserve/need to be on antidepressants/therapy because it's all my fault. Me being depressed is me "emo" or selfcentred or exaggerating.

I'll just go crawl into my hole and die now, thanks.