Keyplayer. Thanks so much for jumping in. Your story was uplifting. Crippling is such the right word. The other night my mind could not go anywhere else but the thought of how I just really ruined my life. The tension racing thru my body was piercing. The thought of anyone seeing me like this would be totally humiliating. I woke up in the morning pulled myself together the best that I can and dealt with the situation. Which on the surface went well (I say the surface b/c I can not completely let go that I just did something catastrophic ) Now I'm dealing with the after effects of what people think of me. Do they realize how pathetic I am? The tough part with me is that time will pass and I will feel better but I also deal with rumination issues which the slightest reminder will bring me back to these feelings. I have been working on years on these issues (therapist and meds) I do like this site b/c it does provide me with an outlet which I can use at any time. Lets face it it is not unusual for a someone to be on there phone typing away. Thank you.