Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
I think we overly rely on "the medical model." We tend to say what has this child "got" that is making him this way? Maybe it's what he "hasn't got" that is making him as he is. A human baby born into a middle class household with an educated mother is not born one bit more civilized than the baby who was born to a cave woman in prehistoric times. If you took a newborn Swiss or Canadian baby and dropped him off in the jungles of New Guinea with a family of head hunters, he'ld come to find cannibalism an acceptable part of life. Babies aren't born with "values." They have to be instilled. That happens through family dynamics, among other influences. It may be that there just isn't enough good dynamics going on in that home to civilize this child.
A woman has five year old twins she got through an encounter with a "sperm donor." That's a pretty amoral foundation right there. By now the kid has noticed that other kids have dads and he doesn't. Of course not all fatherless kids are monsters. But, when they're not, maybe some good influence filled the gap. This kid may be less fortunate. Maybe this mother just has no aptitude for imparting good values and no one else who does has shown up.
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I really don't want this to become about insulting their mother. She is a wonderful person who works very hard and cares for her children. She is beside herself with worry after this incident with her child. I myself grew up in a family with a very loving mother, who had plenty of morals and boundaries, and a brother who was abiut as difficult as a child can get. I watched my mom torment herself for years trying to help him, trying to be a "better" mother, wondering what she had done wrong. She did her best. The mom I'm working for, to my eyes, is doing her best.
Also, the boys were nit conceived in an amoral situation (not that it's relevant or anyones place to judge...) They LITERALLY come from an actual sperm bank. They were artificially inseminated. Test-tube babies. She got to a point in life where she didn't have a husband but wanted children, and that is HER choice and one I will never judge her for. Having a dad around is not a cure-all for bad behavior.