My ex brought out theeeee worst symptoms in me. Mostly toward the end of our relationship. Like the really volatile shyt.

In my current relationship, I struggled in the beginning, but that was mostly a mix of residual trauma caused by my ex and the subsequent fear of trusting my bf.

Another example would be that, only certain friends, family members or coworkers manage to trigger me, while others don't at all.

DBT helped me to learn how to manage my distorted thought patterns.

In short, I don't doubt what your wife said.