I think if the husband asks specifically for cooperation around housework and it is specifically refused and verbally- then he's not enabling- he's resigned to doing what must be done. If cooperation is agreed to but not carried out then it's charitable enabling if he goes the extra mile to cover the rest of the chores. That's been my place a lot of my married life- my husband has done work that I have every intention of doing but have in the past mentally left and not done it. I have more control now that I understand dissociation but I felt guilty and he felt resentment but he didn't want to enable me and I didn't want to be enabled- just forgiven and understood as I tried like hell to understand myself.