I'll explain what I think my T is saying.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
"In regards to your present struggle, I'd have you recognize that this may prove to be the most essential part of the work you have to do - to tolerate, explore, and untimately accept that tension between becoming absolutely attached and rejecting/fleeing.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> [/b]

He often tells me to tolerate the anxiety I am feeling. He says that anxiety tricks us into thinking we are in danger when we are not. So, the more you try to tolerate it I guess the greater chance it will lessen. However, I hate being told to tolerate anxiety, LOL. But I guess it's for my own good.

He told me that I will go through the mourning stages when we had the session in which I told him I wanted him to be around forever. This is the one that he told me that he wouldn't lie to make me feel better. If complete devastation is a mourning stage, I was propelled right into it, LOL.

So, we need to explore to figure out exactly where these feelings originate. Eventually, I'm going to have to accept that he will not be a part of my life after therapy. Just typing that sentence causes me much anxiety. I'm tolerating it, but am unable to accept this dreadful thought.

Sunny made a good point about my T being formal. He is always formal in sessions - I love his demeanor! T and I are working on the fact that I idealize him. For example, awhile ago I told him that I didn't think that he ever cussed because he was so 'proper'. So, he said a few cusswords over the next few sessions I guess to show me that he is actually a human being. But, he proved otherwise because when one is so eloquent, saying a cussword totally sounds out of place, LOL. He also told me he windsurfs, I'm thinking he probably wears his suit and tie. I hope he uses a tie clip so it doesn't blow in his face, LOL.

Take Care.