QP and I decided that this evening was our last time doing anything.
He is married and has been struggling with guilt for the past few months. His wife is pregnant with number three and I've been having trouble dealing with that. He had said that they were no longer intimate. He lied to me.

He is my best friend.

I can't loose my best friend and boyfriend all at once.

I can't loose him completely. I just can't.

I never thought I'd be the other woman. I never wanted to be. I hated being his dirty little secret.

He is always so gentle with me. So sweet and caring. We get along so well, make each other laugh all the time.

It's going to be so hard at work.

I'm alone now. But I guess I never really had him, not really. He had me though. He had all of me. All of my heart. All of my love.

Now I have no one to love me. No one to touch me gently, care about me, want me.

No one wants me.

I'm so god damned alone.

I really don't know how to cope with this.

I have no idea how I'm supposed to go on.