Shaz, that is a very difficult situation and position you are in, trying to be her advocate while also trying not to alienate your husband. I agree with your perspective, ie, that meds should not be forced, nor assisted living as an ultimatum.

Your husband seems to be extremely tense and on edge, on the verge of explosion, from what you describe (well, slamming doors is being rather explosive). Maybe he's completely overwhelmed by the whole situation and is angered by it, but he's taking it out on you... quite unfairly.

Yes, counseling sounds like a great solution at this time. An objective third party can help point out some of these things and more, while taking the heat and pressure off of you.

((((hugs))))